2012

Well I yet again have sucked at posting anything to my blog.  Not that anyone reads it....2012 has kicked off to be a big pile of quick sand that I am sinking into while life goes by and I see people walking past me and some kicking sand in my face to speed up the process.  Lost my Aunt Deb who I had not talked to in a while and I kind of blame my Dad who passed away 8 years ago on that.  Long story.  I did love her and although we were not close at the time she passed we shared many memories and I know she loved me.  She was an amazing woman and I feel so deeply sad that I had not taken the time to talk to her and did not realize she was not well. We had a very busy but good Christmas.  Took some time off my Mother was here from Arizona and Jake and his girlfriend Freya.  Went to help my cousins with my aunts home in Utah and attend her service in Utah.  Flew back and back to work and I was served papers that an ex employee is attempting to file a law suit for an employment issue.  Finally came to a settlement on my brother Cris's  estate that his wife let go bankrupt after his death 4 years ago and that I guess was not good enough so we will be going to court.  I swear I should have been an attorney I could pay my own salary with the amount of bills I have paid.  Working on 2011 taxes which are a f-ing blast when you are self employed and my annual licensing another joyous amount of paper work.  Anxiously awaiting the state reassessments to recoup funds and no longer allow me to support the individuals I have they way I need to. And an employee gave their 2 week notice on Tues. and it takes at least 1 month to rehire if all goes well so it looks like work is my calling so that is what I will do until I get it right.  The funny thing is that my New Years resolution was to slow down enjoy life and to look at the positive in things.  Well I will try to start that in February or maybe become a very nasty person that the life has been sucked out of by what I allow to happen to me and how I chose to let it make me feel.  So if anyone reads this just laugh and think what a whine bag!  Because as usual I will get over myself and fix it all for everyone at my own expense:) Mike did sign the kids up for Basketball , T-Ball and baseball so I do have that to look forward to.  I feel like such a failure of a parent when work doesn't allow me to be the parent I want to be.  But I do love what I do most of the time but it seems to get harder and harder to do.  Maybe it will all fall apart and I will find a new profession!  Who am I kidding I will be a service provider for life it is in my blood.  Maybe not always work for myself but I know I would be lost with out all of the amazing people I have supported and all that they have taught me.  Ok I am done and hopefully not until 2013!!